hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
