Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
