I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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