Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
