I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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