I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
