sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
