I heard we made out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
organizing the empties. That sober.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize