I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
