So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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