Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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