the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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