So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
