i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's Friday. Sex?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
