I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
