we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
