The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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