not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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