Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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