If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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