Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No subtext here. People are naked.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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