So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Your face is a jimmy john
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She told me I should be a condom model.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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