so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I did not marry a roomba.
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