is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
