I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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