Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
