my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize