I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
