Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
