I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we're so committed to being not committed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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