I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
