Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
