we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
