Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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