apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
