i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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