Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
