Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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