Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
