was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
