i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
