sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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