I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
