I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
