he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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