i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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