The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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