i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my sisters under your porch take her home
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
