i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
