I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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