I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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