so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
