i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
