absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
