i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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