No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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