Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize