I'm laying in your front yard are you home
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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