I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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