I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
