the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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