she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
