I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.