I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
