I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly