Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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